The Law of Attraction
Life repeats what we haven’t healed—until we finally see it.
A friend once reached out to me because she was deeply worried about someone she loved. This person had a history of inviting hurtful relationships into her life, and my friend could see the signs of it happening again. She wanted to say the right things—because when you love someone, it hurts to watch them walk into the same pain repeatedly.
And that’s such a common experience, isn’t it? It’s easy to see what others should do. It’s harder to see what we should do when we’re the one stuck inside the pattern.
Especially with relationships, patterns can replay like a broken record. People repeat the same drama, the same heartbreak, the same unhealthy dynamics. And outsiders wonder, “Why don’t they learn?”
A counselor friend of mine gave me one of the most helpful lines I’ve ever heard:
“Life has been designed to repeat itself until we get it right.”
Why change often takes so long
Sometimes change has to wait until the pain of the problem outweighs the pain of the solution.
Because healing can be painful too. Being alone can feel scarier than being in a bad relationship. Doing the inner work can feel harder than staying in what’s familiar. So people stay stuck until they finally reach “enough.”
And even then, it’s common to go back a few more times—not because they’re weak, but because patterns are powerful.
The deeper issue: what if pain feels safe?
Here’s the part that’s hard to admit: sometimes we become comfortable with what hurts us.
Not because we want pain, but because it’s familiar. Familiar can feel safe—even when it’s unhealthy.
There’s also a mental and emotional “chemistry” to this. Thoughts and emotions can become patterns our body starts craving. If we’ve lived in certain feelings long enough—fear, worthlessness, drama, chaos—our system can start pulling us back there without us realizing it.
So we keep attracting what we say we hate… because we haven’t healed what’s underneath it.
The hope: patterns can repeat in a good way too
The exciting part is this: the same principle works in the opposite direction.
When you do the work to heal, to change, to rebuild your inner life—your outer life begins to shift. You start attracting healthier people, healthier environments, healthier choices—not by luck, but because you’re becoming healthy.
Scripture and faith tie-in
There’s a reason Christ’s way is different from the world’s. The world tries to change people by changing their environment. Christ changes people from the inside out—and then their lives change.
When Christ becomes our safe place, we stop running back to unsafe places just because they’re familiar.
Practical reflection
The repetition isn’t proof you’re broken. It might be proof you’re being invited to finally see something clearly.
Patterns don’t change by accident.
They change when we take ownership, ask for help, and let God work in us while we do our part.
Anchoring quote
“Life has been designed to repeat itself until we get it right.”
Today’s Daily Challenge
Identify one repeating pattern in your life. Write:
What keeps repeating?
What does it cost me?
What might be underneath it?
One small step toward healing
Then pray (or sit quietly) and ask: “God, help me see what I can’t see.”
Closing gratitude + links
I’m grateful God doesn’t give up on us—He keeps teaching, inviting, and healing until life becomes right.
joshdowns.com/daily-devotionals
joshdowns.com/come-follow-me-for-teens
