Good In, Bad Out
Boundaries aren’t walls — they’re doors with gates.
Opening Story / Insight
Growing up, we had an awesome backyard. We were always out there—cookouts, basketball, throwing the football, hanging with our dog. The only thing separating us from that whole world was a sliding glass door… and that door got worked.
Because we were always running in and out, it was constantly being left open, and my parents hated it—because it let the flies in. So the rule was: close the door.
One day, my mom had just cleaned the glass so well it was basically invisible. My dad noticed it was open and slid it shut.
My younger brother came sprinting up the steps, expecting to run right through it like he had been doing for the past minute…
…and ran full speed into the glass. Face-first. Thud. Shock. Confusion. Then he stumbled backward like he had just been hit by an unseen force.
It’s still one of my favorite memories.
And as funny as it is, that moment taught me something important:
Boundaries are meant to do what that door was designed to do—keep the good in, and keep the bad out.
The Purpose of Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are like fences with gates.
They’re meant to protect what is good and nurturing inside of you…
and keep harmful things outside of you.
But here’s the key:
Boundaries must not become walls.
Because sometimes:
There’s pain on the inside that needs to come out (through confession, conversation, healing).
There’s good on the outside that needs to come in (support, love, truth, help).
Boundaries work best when they are strong, clear, and selectively open—at your discretion.
When Boundaries Turn Into Walls
It’s common for people to turn boundaries into walls after serious pain or abuse.
And it makes sense—if you were hurt when you were vulnerable, you may decide, “Never again.”
But walls can accidentally do two damaging things:
Keep the pain trapped inside (where it poisons and hardens you)
Keep the good outside (where healing could have entered)
A healthy boundary says:
“I will protect myself… but I will not imprison myself.”
Everyday Boundaries You Can Actually Use
God built boundaries into the world to teach us how to use them wisely. A few examples:
Skin: defines where you begin and end; protects what’s inside.
Words (especially “No”): reveal your lines to other people.
Truth: keeps you free (truth clarifies what you will and won’t accept).
Distance: sometimes leaving a situation is the boundary.
Time: you may need time away to regain strength and clarity.
Emotional distance: temporary protection while healing.
Other people: the right relationships support your boundaries; the wrong ones pressure you to abandon them.
Consequences: boundaries without consequences are just wishes.
What Boundaries Protect
Boundaries don’t just protect your schedule or your space. They protect your soul-space:
Your feelings
Your attitudes and beliefs
Your behaviors and choices
Your values
Your limits
Your thoughts
Your desires
Your ability to love without losing yourself
And one of the most important boundary truths is this:
Your life is yours to steward.
Other people’s lives are theirs to steward.
One Quote to Keep
This line is powerful and worth keeping exactly as-is:
“The only people who get upset about you setting a boundary are the ones who were benefiting from you not having one.”
That’s not bitterness — that’s clarity.
Today’s Daily Challenge
Pick one area that feels blurry or draining right now:
A relationship
A recurring request
A responsibility you keep carrying that isn’t yours
A habit or influence that keeps sneaking in
Then do one simple, courageous act:
Close the “door”
Add a “gate”
Or open it intentionally to let the good in and the bad out
Even one small boundary strengthens your sense of peace and self-respect.
Grateful you’re here.
For daily devotionals and episode topics, visit:
👉 https://joshdowns.com/daily-devotionals
For gospel-centered lessons designed specifically for teens, explore:
👉 https://joshdowns.com/come-follow-me-for-teens
