The Moments Between the Big Moments
It is easy to think family memories are made during vacations, birthdays, games, performances, and other moments we take pictures of.
But when our children eventually look back on growing up, some of what matters most may be everything that happened between the shots.
The drive there.
The conversation afterward.
The time you showed up.
The moment you stopped what you were doing and made them feel like they mattered.
Original Drive Episode: #99 — Everything In Between the Shots
Listen to the Episode
What This Resource Is About
There are moments in parenting when what seems small to us may feel very different to our children.
An activity gets cancelled.
Something else comes up.
We get busy.
We decide it probably isn’t that big of a deal.
But children don’t always interpret our choices the way we intend them.
Sometimes what they hear is:
This other thing matters more than I do.
That doesn’t mean parents should attend every event, never change plans, or organize their entire lives around their children. Real life doesn’t work that way.
But it does remind us that children are constantly learning something about their value from the way we respond to them.
And surprisingly, the most important opportunities to communicate that value may not be the big ones.
Think about a basketball game.
We tend to remember the shot.
But family life is often built during everything between the shots.
It’s driving to practice.
Getting ice cream afterward.
Talking about what happened at school.
Laughing over something ridiculous.
Sitting together when someone is disappointed.
Showing interest in something that would never have interested you if your child didn’t care about it.
Those moments seem ordinary while we are living them.
Then one day we look back and realize they were the childhood.
Parenting is not one long series of profound conversations.
Most of it is ordinary.
And that may be precisely why we need to pay attention to it.
Key Takeaways
Children notice what we prioritize. Our choices can communicate something about their value even when we never intend to send that message.
Showing up matters. Presence tells our children that what matters to them matters to us.
Family relationships are built between the big events. Drives, meals, errands, practices, conversations, and ordinary evenings create connection over time.
Small moments accumulate. No single interaction makes a family, but thousands of ordinary interactions eventually become a childhood.
Attention is one way we communicate worth. When we stop, listen, watch, and participate, we quietly say: You matter to me.
The pictures may capture the big moments.
But much of family life happens between them.
And years from now, we may discover that those were the moments that mattered most.
Related Topics
Parenting & Teens
Family Connection • Presence • Priorities • Childhood • Relationships
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